The skeptics, the critics, the disbelievers of the world… Welcome! We are glad you could join us. Would you like some water? Some catnip? Take a seat. Stay awhile.
The reason why you’ve been brought to this page is not because of the click of your mouse. It is not because of what you typed into your search engine. You’re here because of your genuine skepticism about something that is unfamiliar to you. Your worry, your fear, whatever it is that is holding you back from exploring a product or idea that seems unorthodox to you.
Because while you are stuck in your ways, unwilling to budge from your litter box scooping life, millions of cat owners across the globe are kicking back and enjoying a world where scoopers are chucked and smiles are spread. You could live this life too, if you wanted. The choice is yours.
But you want reasons to not buy an automatic litter box. To not avoid the nuisance of scooping your cat’s poop, and wasting precious minutes of your day that could go towards more important tasks. That’s what brought you here. So, we’ll give you what you asked for. We will fill you up with even more negativity and doubt, and provide you with a list of the 5 reasons you should not buy an automatic litter box.
1. You will lose the lovely, breathtaking experience of scooping your cat’s litter.
I am sure there is nothing you enjoy more than coming home after a long day at the office, crouching on all fours and scooping the poop out of your litter box. Oh, and don’t forget the constant worry that if you don’t, your entire house will smell of waste buildup and your cat will start relieving himself all around the house! I know you do not want to miss out on the opportunity to connect with your cat’s waste droppings on such a personal level, so please, don’t buy an automatic litter box.
2. You will gain back hundreds of minutes per year and who has ever wanted more time?
Twenty more minutes a day? Twenty full minutes—that you have been using to scoop clumped feces from a litter box—to do whatever you want? PASS! Who would want that? I don’t think anyone would ever need more time to spend with family, make dinner, binge on one more episode, maybe even play with their cat or take up that dream hobby. I don’t think I have ever heard anybody say “I wish there were more minutes in a day.” Nope, doesn’t ring a bell.
3. You will have to wear cargo pants to fit all the money you’re saving per year on litter.
No one wants more money. No one! I’m sure you absolutely love making weekly trips to the grocery store and buying litter more often than you buy toilet paper for yourself. Automatic litter boxes only dispose of the clumped, wasted litter, leaving you with more recycled clean litter and less trips to the store. It sounds absolutely horrible. I’m sure there is nothing in mind that you would rather spend your money on. Like a trip to Florida or a delicious steak dinner.
4. No more excuses not to go on that business trip or take that vacation.
Not having to scoop the litter box every day and only emptying the waste drawer once a week just pretty much pushes you out of the front door. You are unwillingly forced into going on worry-free, week-long vacations and business trips, regardless of your own free will. What a drag! I am sure the attempt at finding an available cat sitter to scoop your litter box is always invigorating and especially successful.
5. Why would you ever want a happier cat? Or a happier you?
With automatic litter boxes, your cat will have a freshly cleaned litter box after every use. Every. Single. Use. This constant comfort and reliability your cat will experience must be dreadful; I mean, always feeling cared for and respected? And not being forced to go to the bathroom in other areas of the house and lashing out in frustration? What a boring life with your cat. I’m sure you absolutely love when your kitty leaves you cute presents around the house, especially when they can be found in a favorite gym shoe or in your baby’s room. Automatic litter box owners just don’t like to live life on the edge, do they?
There you have it, skeptics. Five reasons why you should NOT buy an automatic, self-cleaning litter box. Just cementing the fact that you should never take a step outside of your beaten path, even if that path might lead to bigger and better things. If I were you, I would stay skeptical forever. But while you do that, I’ll be taking a catnap with my kitten before I pack for my trip to Myrtle Beach. Duty calls! Or lack of duty, that is.