At one time or another, even the most secure cat parent has wondered with some trepidation: Does my cat love me? Find out how science has attempted to answer this question and read on for 15 common signs that your cat loves you.
Do cats love their owners?
It turns out, the majority of cats do love their owners—or they at least use their humans as a source of security and comfort.
A 2019 experiment at the Human-Animal Interaction Lab at Oregon State University used the offspring-caregiver bond as a way to study attachment behaviors between cats and their owners. This “secure base test” included three phases:
- First, cats and kittens spent two minutes in a new environment with their owner or caregiver.
- Next, the person left the room for two minutes.
- Last, the cat or kitten was reunited with their caregiver for two minutes.
When the caregiver returned, the results proved quite interesting:
- 65% of cats or kittens continued to explore their surroundings, showing signs of being “securely attached” to their owners.
- 35% of cats or kittens were “insecurely attached” to their owners, either acting clingy or avoiding the caretaker altogether; they showed signs of stress such as twitching their tails and licking their lips.
The takeaway? Kristyn Vitale, a researcher at the Human-Animal Interaction Lab, explains, “Cats that are insecure can be likely to run and hide or seem to act aloof. There's long been a biased way of thinking that all cats behave this way. But the majority of cats use their owner as a source of security.”
Does my cat know I love her?
Cats are sensitive, intuitive creatures that likely discern more than humans know. When your cat reciprocates your love with signs of affection (such as those listed below), it’s a positive indication that they know how much you care about them.
15 signs your cat loves you
Even if your cat exhibits just one of these signs, you can feel confident knowing that they do, in fact, love you.
Slow blinking
Most consider “the slow blink,” or when your cat looks at you and slowly blinks their eyes, to be a gesture of trust. Cats are characteristically alert, constantly scanning the environment and reacting to stimuli with haste. During the slow blink, your cat feels so comfortable, they let down their guard and become vulnerable—something they’ll only do when feeling completely secure.
Bringing gifts
Cats have a desire to catch things and hunt. Whether it’s a real mouse or a toy, your cat presenting their “catch” as a gift to you is actually an act of kindness. They consider you part of their family and would rather offer you their killing than consume it on their own.
Following you
Cats also show their love by following you from room to room, sometimes zipping between your legs as you walk. If your cat does this, rest assured they’re not trying to trip you up—they just need to be as involved in your daily goings-on as much as possible.
Greeting you at the door
Likewise, a dog-like cat might greet you at the door with zeal and pure joy that their favorite human is home. The only catch? The behavior goes both ways, with your cat inflicting a bit of guilt on you as you walk out the door and leave them behind.
Grooming you
You may have noticed your cat licking or “grooming” you, particularly while you pet them. This could be your cat thanking you for the attention and showing affection in return. Another possibility ties back to social grooming, which is practiced by free-roaming cat colonies as a means of bonding and reinforcing social hierarchies. In this case, you’re part of a select group that your cat is willing to groom.
Showing their belly
The belly is a particularly vulnerable area on a cat’s body. In fact, cats possess a primordial pouch that is theorized to protect their sensitive lower belly during fights with predators and other cats. When your cat bears this vulnerable area to you (and not all cats will, even if they love you dearly), they’re displaying their trust and security in you.
Purring
It is well known that cats purr when they are content. Cats are thought to purr in an effort to communicate and interact with both humans and other animals.
Kneading
Ever wondered, “Why do cats make biscuits on me?” Kneading is a sign of affection and your cat's way of showing that they are comfortable and love you. This is an old, evolutionary response between mother and kitten that your cat is simply trying to recreate for comfort.
Love bites
Your cat may bite you gently (or not so gently) while playing as a means of affection. The biting may also be followed by, or alternate with, licking you. This sign of “love” (ow!) usually indicates your cat is overexcited. Try to redirect their playful behavior to a toy. If it becomes a problem, avoid using your hands or feet when playing with your cat .
Rubbing
Why do cats rub against you? This behavior is essentially a cat “claiming” you. It is more than a territorial action, in that a cat will rub against you as a form of scent marking. Scent marking is when the cat deposits pheromones and oils from the scent glands located on his forehead, cheeks, and chin.
Headbutting
Why do cats headbutt? Also called “bunting,” cats will usually headbutt you for the same reason they rub against you—to leave pheromones that signal a friendly encounter. Think of it as an affectionate greeting.
Cuddling
This obvious sign of love comes more easily to some cats than others. But whether you have a true lap cat or one that likes to sit next to you for some pets, it’s easy to appreciate all forms of cuddling with felines.
Sleeping on you
A step beyond cuddling, your cat being comfortable enough to curl up on you and snooze is a good indication of their love. (True, they also appreciate your body heat.) And if your cat sleeps on you while you yourself are sleeping, you know you’ve really got pet parenthood nailed.
Meowing
Meowing is your cat’s way of speaking, and they like to communicate with you or ask for attention. Meowing (when it isn’t a sign of hunger, medical issues, stress, or loneliness) is usually your cat’s way of saying, “Love me!”
Tail language
When feeling particularly happy, your cat will hold their tail high in the air with a tall, confident posture—the tip of their tail may crook forward or quiver. They may even wrap their tail around your leg in a friendly greeting.
Can you make a cat love you?
All cats deserve respect and have their own timelines for building trust with their caregiver. When that trust is established, love follows.
It’s important to note that some cats may never show traditional “signs of love” because they experienced trauma earlier in life or because they have special needs.
How to get a cat to like you
If you’re wondering how to get a cat to like you or how to bond with your cat, we’ve rounded up all of the best expert tips below.
Start cuddling your cat at an early age
Kittens should have lots of visual and tactual contact so they know it’s okay to interact with people as they grow up. Let them see your face, stroke them, and hold them in your lap.
Give adult cats some space
Allow an adult cat to come to you at their own pace. That means letting them hide when they want to hide, and perhaps providing a safe space in the house removed from a lot of noise and activity. If you don’t have the room for a safe space, you can also spend time in the same room as the cat without interacting. This will show that you respect your cat’s boundaries while reinforcing your presence.
Take it slow
If you’ve recently adopted your cat, don’t introduce too many changes at once. For instance, keep the cat’s diet similar to what it was before adoption, and slowly transition to a different diet if desired.
Establish a routine quickly
Cats are creatures of habit and feel comforted by routine—so feed them at the same time every day, and so on.
Pay attention to body language
You should know when to back off—your cat may display flattened ears, a twitching tail, or very dilated pupils when he’s unhappy. And if he’s purring but still seems agitated, give him some space.
Give them treats
Many cats are food-motivated and will respond positively if you place some treats by your side or on your lap.
Get on their level
Some cats feel intimidated when people tower over them. You might try to sit on the floor with your cat or kitten or sit next to them on the couch.
Encourage playtime
Start with a laser pointer, which allows more remote play. Then move on to wand toys, which are interactive and can boost your cat’s confidence.
When it comes to how to bond with your cat, it will take some time to find what works for you and your cat specifically. Above all, be patient. Some cats warm up to their caregivers in a matter of days, while others take weeks, months, or even years to feel securely bonded.
FAQs
Why does my cat follow me everywhere?
Your cat is likely curious, seeking attention, and/or showing their affection by following you around. They may also follow you around when hungry (usually accompanied by meowing).
Why do cats put their butt in your face?
Believe or not, cats “presenting” their rear to you is a method of happy communication. Cats learn a lot about the world around them through their sense of smell. This includes smelling other cats’ butts. So, cats are giving you the opportunity to learn more about them by putting their butt in your face.
Why do cats knead on you?
This adorable behavior harkens back to when your cat was a kitten. Kittens knead on their mother’s belly to stimulate milk production. Your cat may knead on you to recreate that comfort and to mark their territory through the scent glands in their paw pads.
